365 Questions--July 10

What is holding you back?

To be completely honest, fear and my self esteem. I am something like a perfectionist. I know that everything is not going to be perfect and ideal, but I want things the way I want it. If I'm going to do something then I want it done with quality. That's why I haven't started my Youtube channel yet (well that and money). I've been making content for about 2 years on my webcam and I refuse to start my channel with a webcam. I won't do it. I don't want to be that person that people talk about. I know how I think when I see low quality videos. I think sometimes I have an unrealistic expectations for myself. I expect to be great straight out the gate. This probably has to do with my self-esteem. 

I wouldn't necessarily say that I have low self-esteem. It's more so that I downplay my capabilities. Even with my friends, they'll be like "Munch you're smart," and I'd literally say "chill out" if I even acknowledged what they said. I remember being around my friends and they would say I was studious and all kind of stuff and I would literally be trying to figure out what I was doing that was so special. I just feel like a normal person. Crazy thing is I never feel like I'm doing enough or what I'm doing didn't matter or it wasn't good enough. I can't get far playing myself like that