365 Question--July 12

What do you need? What do people around you need?

I think everyone, including myself, needs more love and a sincere group of people around them. Just scrolling down social media, all you’ll see, especially if you’re my age or younger, is “can’t trust nobody,” “I don’t need nobody but myself,” “people closest to you do you the worst.” And yeah, to some extent those things are true. However, we were not created to be alone. If that was the case, God would’ve never created Eve, Elijah wouldn’t have been with Elisha, Ruth wouldn’t have had Naomi, and Esther wouldn’t have had Mordacai.  It just doesn’t happen like that. I can say from firsthand experience, someone betrayed me and ever since then I put a wall up to everybody else. I mean now it’s to the point that I barely even have real friends. I literally talk to 2 people every single day that aren’t related to me because I have a hard time bonding with people. This is partially because I grew up as an Army brat and in a time before cell phones were so popular. Military families are usually stationed somewhere for 3 years, unless you’re overseas and decide to extend it, and then you leave to the next station. I got used to people coming in and out of my life so I try to avoid getting too attached. 

I know I can’t be the only one out there with attachment issues, trust issues, whatever you want to call it. To be completely honest, I do think that’s part of the reason why suicide has become such a thing lately. People don’t trust anyone so they don’t have a support system, and when life happens, all they’re left with is their thoughts. They don’t have anyone to pull them out. They don’t have anyone to talk them out of a bad idea. 

I really had to sit down and think about that one day. I started to think about how my thoughts were at night when I was alone and how depressed I was in my loneliness. It got to the point where I now crave a genuine friend and a genuine sisterhood. Not to say that my friends that I do have aren’t genuine. I ‘m not saying that at all. What I am saying is that I am craving friendship.