365 Questions--May 1
Why haven't you dealt with your past before?
To be honest, I've always been taught to keep going. Never let people see you cry. Never give someone the power to make you cry. Those things have burned in my brain since I was kid. Things happen, and I just keep going and don't look back. I've always been very, very focused on my future. There's so many things that I want, and for a long time I felt like trying to figure out my past was not going to help me. People say you can press the reset button at any point, and that's what I did. Things would happen, and I would be like
Another reason I didn't deal with it is because a lot of it seemed like it was too painful to even try to deal with or hash or whatever you want to call it. I don't talk about the things that have happened to me, but even still those same things replay over and over in my head. I go through a lot of mental turmoil because of the things that I have been through. You guys couldn't even begin to imagine the things that I have been through. I kind of had an epiphany Sunday at church about why I've been through the things I've been through. A few years ago, maybe around 2014 or 15 I was told that I had a David anointing. I never knew what exactly he meant by that. He said that I would leave and come back, and back then I couldn't imagine ever leaving the church. Sunday my pastor talked about how David was being attacked by the very person that anointed him, Saul. When Pastor said that, I immediately looked back at my life and that's exactly what has been happening in my life up until I got to COP. That realization made me want to heal.
To be honest, I've always been taught to keep going. Never let people see you cry. Never give someone the power to make you cry. Those things have burned in my brain since I was kid. Things happen, and I just keep going and don't look back. I've always been very, very focused on my future. There's so many things that I want, and for a long time I felt like trying to figure out my past was not going to help me. People say you can press the reset button at any point, and that's what I did. Things would happen, and I would be like
Another reason I didn't deal with it is because a lot of it seemed like it was too painful to even try to deal with or hash or whatever you want to call it. I don't talk about the things that have happened to me, but even still those same things replay over and over in my head. I go through a lot of mental turmoil because of the things that I have been through. You guys couldn't even begin to imagine the things that I have been through. I kind of had an epiphany Sunday at church about why I've been through the things I've been through. A few years ago, maybe around 2014 or 15 I was told that I had a David anointing. I never knew what exactly he meant by that. He said that I would leave and come back, and back then I couldn't imagine ever leaving the church. Sunday my pastor talked about how David was being attacked by the very person that anointed him, Saul. When Pastor said that, I immediately looked back at my life and that's exactly what has been happening in my life up until I got to COP. That realization made me want to heal.
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