365 Questions--May 15
Write about one of your exes
This particular subject is a little random, but I do think it's completely necessary. I guess I'll choose my first love for the simple fact that my experience with him has drastically shaped how I approach love, life, and my family. I'm not going to disclose his name. I'll just call him J. That's good enough considering a good 90-95% of my exes' names start with a J. I guess I just have a weird fascination with the letter J.
My relationship with him was so genuine. Even from jump, there wasn't any kind of excessive sexual tension. Well for one thing, I wasn't checking for him. He looked too old. I was 16 at the time and he looked to be 21-23. He also looked a little arrogant, and I just was not here for it. Plus I looked crazy. I was wearing sweatpants, a crop hoodie, and my hair was wrapped with the velcro thing. We hit it off straight away. We didn't have any kind of issues or anything. The only thing is we were 5 hours apart.
Because there was so much distance, all we could do was talk. We talked day in and day out. I never thought I was good enough for him in the beginning stages. I had convinced myself that he was to attractive for me. I mean he's fine. very. He's definitely right up my alley. Tall, red, green eyes, athletic build, dimples, beautiful smile. He was almost perfect in my eyes. I played myself thinking that I was not good enough. I had convinced myself there was no way he was ever going to be interested in me. I had tried to talk myself out of feeling anything for him.
The day I realized I loved him was March 13, 2009. It was just a month after we met, but I knew I loved him. I may have not been in love with him at the time, but the feelings were undeniable. I knew it was that day because he got in a car accident that could've killed him. The car flipped maybe 3 or 4 times. It just so happened that I got my phone back for the day and I text him and he had just got into the accident. Had I not had my phone and been up at 5 in the morning, I would've never known. I remember crying immediately when he told me. That's when I really knew. It takes a lot for me to cry and the fact that I cried that quick, something happened. A week later, I got in an accident and totaled my car. I should've died in the accident as well. I didn't tell him I got in an accident until late that night because the medication I was on knocked me out the whole day.
Things with us got very heavy very quickly after that. We knew life could've been taken from us so quickly that it made us appreciate each other more. Unfortunately, not everyone was a fan. My family, specifically my mom and my aunt, felt like we were too involve to be 17 and 19 years old. They never sat us down and talked to us about it. They just came up with this "master plan" to break us up. It was probably the most disgusting ting I had ever seen them do. When we broke up he was trying to explain it to me, but I just didn't understand. We ended up getting back together when I moved down that way for college and were on and off up until I was about 22. It wasn't until maybe 3 years after we initially broke up in 2010 that I found out what really happened. The minute I found out what happened, I lost all respect for my family members involved.
This particular subject is a little random, but I do think it's completely necessary. I guess I'll choose my first love for the simple fact that my experience with him has drastically shaped how I approach love, life, and my family. I'm not going to disclose his name. I'll just call him J. That's good enough considering a good 90-95% of my exes' names start with a J. I guess I just have a weird fascination with the letter J.
My relationship with him was so genuine. Even from jump, there wasn't any kind of excessive sexual tension. Well for one thing, I wasn't checking for him. He looked too old. I was 16 at the time and he looked to be 21-23. He also looked a little arrogant, and I just was not here for it. Plus I looked crazy. I was wearing sweatpants, a crop hoodie, and my hair was wrapped with the velcro thing. We hit it off straight away. We didn't have any kind of issues or anything. The only thing is we were 5 hours apart.
Because there was so much distance, all we could do was talk. We talked day in and day out. I never thought I was good enough for him in the beginning stages. I had convinced myself that he was to attractive for me. I mean he's fine. very. He's definitely right up my alley. Tall, red, green eyes, athletic build, dimples, beautiful smile. He was almost perfect in my eyes. I played myself thinking that I was not good enough. I had convinced myself there was no way he was ever going to be interested in me. I had tried to talk myself out of feeling anything for him.
The day I realized I loved him was March 13, 2009. It was just a month after we met, but I knew I loved him. I may have not been in love with him at the time, but the feelings were undeniable. I knew it was that day because he got in a car accident that could've killed him. The car flipped maybe 3 or 4 times. It just so happened that I got my phone back for the day and I text him and he had just got into the accident. Had I not had my phone and been up at 5 in the morning, I would've never known. I remember crying immediately when he told me. That's when I really knew. It takes a lot for me to cry and the fact that I cried that quick, something happened. A week later, I got in an accident and totaled my car. I should've died in the accident as well. I didn't tell him I got in an accident until late that night because the medication I was on knocked me out the whole day.
Things with us got very heavy very quickly after that. We knew life could've been taken from us so quickly that it made us appreciate each other more. Unfortunately, not everyone was a fan. My family, specifically my mom and my aunt, felt like we were too involve to be 17 and 19 years old. They never sat us down and talked to us about it. They just came up with this "master plan" to break us up. It was probably the most disgusting ting I had ever seen them do. When we broke up he was trying to explain it to me, but I just didn't understand. We ended up getting back together when I moved down that way for college and were on and off up until I was about 22. It wasn't until maybe 3 years after we initially broke up in 2010 that I found out what really happened. The minute I found out what happened, I lost all respect for my family members involved.
The reason I am so protective is because I would never want anyone to experience what he experienced from my family. The reason I don't trust anybody is because my family showed me that I couldn't trust them after that situation. The reason why I don't bring my significant other around my family is because of this situation.
I used to think that we were meant to be together. I used to have a "you and me against the world" mentality. Like, literally. His ringtone on my phone was "You and Me" by Musiq. I think I put way too much pressure on the situation, but that was protective instincts kicking in. I couldn't have cared less about what anybody had to say. I didn't want to sacrifice my happiness for anybody, except him. I put my neck on the line for him time after time. I was stupid for him. I won't ever say he was ungrateful, but sometimes people grow up. Values change and people change. I just pray he doesn't go about things the same way I do.
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