Let's Talk Saturdays--It's Something Wrong with Her??

So if y'all didn't know it's Black Women's History month. Because of that I've decided to focus this month's Lets Talk Saturdays on issues revolving around women. With that being said, let get straight into the 1st one of the month.

Per usual, I was scrolling down my social media new feed, and what do I see? I see this

My question is why do we have to be defined by those things? Not every woman want to be married with children living in the house with the white picket fence. That's not what everybody wants. I know I know it's weird for me of all people to say that since this are things that I want. However, I recognize that everybody does not want those things. I have a best friend who has vocalized over and over that she would much rather be the cool auntie. So what if Ashanti is the same way?

Why does one person's success have to be measured by somebody else's standards? I've said this before, but everything in life is subjective. When I say everything I mean everything, especially constructs like love, success, and happiness. There are no true definitions of those things. I mean there could be someone Ashanti's age who is a stay at home mom with 4 kids. Does that mean that everything is okay with her because she's married with children?

Ashanti has a lot of things that she has accomplished since her "Foolish" days. She's most definitely successful in her own right, but I think the major thing to take form all of this is that comparison will drive you slap crazy. Trying to live up to someone else's standards is not the move. You should define what makes you successful and work towards that. 

Does that mean you can't look at other people? No, there is a such thing as healthy competition. However, competition does not have to be your life. Sometimes watching your competition too much will play all kind of mind tricks. Don't believe me? So when I first got back home, and I wasn't really doing anything with my life, all I did besides look for work was scroll up and down social media. Everybody was graduating, getting married, having babies, and I was sitting at home lowkey jealous because none of that was happening for me at that time. It made me feel like my life was not worth living because I had nothing going for myself at that time. Why? Everybody was getting the things that I wanted and craved, but it seemed like life was not working in my favor at that time. 

This is the dangerous part of watching your competition. You can get so wrapped up in others' lives and business don't you don't take care of your own. You have to take your eyes off the gram and Snapchat and take of your business. That's the only way to get to your level of success.


I told y'all, I said I'm living my best life (woo)
I told y'all, I said I'm living my best life (ayy)
I made a couple M's with my best friends
Turned all my L's into lessons (skrrt, skirt)
--Cardi B and  Chance the Rapper