365 Questions---February 13

What are 5 qualities any relationship must have in order to be healthy

We all have things that we think are important in relationships. The things that I listed can be applied to any relationship. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is, romantic, friendship, whatever. All relationships should be treated the same in these aspects. 

Respect-- This is first and foremost. If you don't respect me, we cannot be together. Issa no. I cannot be with anyone that belittles me or things that are important to me. For example, I have been with people who did not respect the fact that I am so involved in church. You will not disrespect the fact that I am doing ministry. That's an absolutely not. I know people who have lived with people and those people have cheated on them in their home. That level of disrespect is an absolutely not. you will respect my time, values, space, and who I am as a person. 

Honesty-- This one is very big to me. I just feel like there is no reason to lie. Lying to me to protect my feelings is not going to do anything but hurt me worse when I find out the truth. Who am I that you have to make up a whole lie? You don't have to lie. I'm just a regular person. On top of that, there are people who feel like they have to make this facade of who they are and hide who they really are. Why am I so important you have to lie about who you are? If you're a jerk, own it. If you're a church girl, own it. I'm not asking that you're only honest with me. Be honest with yourself as well. 

Communication-- Communication is essential to any relationship. Recently I watched "Fifty Shades Darker," and there was a scene where Anna and Christian were talking about communication, and Christian said he told her, but she was asleep. Having communication with people is very important. You can't be upset with people for something they did and not speak with them about it. There's been times when people have been upset by other and they would immediately cut them off. You can't be mad at them if you did not express to them that that hurt your feelings. You have to talk about things.

Understanding-- A big component of communication is making sure there is an understanding. You need to communicate in a way that your partner understand, and you need to make sure you really understand what your partner is saying. One thing that I notice is when people cut each other off. Two things happen you didn't give them a chance to complete their thought so that you can understand, and two you have completely blocked out anything else that they have to say even if they continue to talk. 

Accountability-- Part of being a mature adult is being responsible for your own actions. In one aspect, you are responsible for your actions as a friend or significant other. If you say you're someone's friend, you need to be exactly what a friend should be. So for example, let's say someone was talking about your friend. Do you a) stay to listen, b) actively engage in the conversation, c) shut the conversation down, or d) leave and tell your friend? Assuming you and your friend have discussed what to do in that situation, you are now accountable for whatever takes place. The same thing applies in a romantic relationship. You cannot be upset because someone didn't meet your exceptions if you have not expressed the expectations to them. Once those expectations have been expressed, your partner, significant other, or friend is held accountable for that. 

What I need from you is understanding,
How can we communicate,
If you don't hear what I say.
What I need from you is understanding,
So simple as 1-2-3,
Understanding is what we need.

--Xscape