365 Question--February 28
What is something you have learned about yourself recently?
This month has given me the chance to really get to know Briana. I've spent a lot of time soul searching and figuring out what I want. I literally have been riding around in silence. It's just me and my thoughts. In that, I've discovered something: I don't like conflict with people I care about. I don't like any tense energy. I'm afraid of what could come out of my mouth in that type of environment especially because I am known to say things without thinking twice about it. Whatever the thought is...it comes out. I don't stop and collect bail; I just go. I just don't want my mouth to get me to a place that I can't return.I know how hurtful the things I can say can be to the people I care about and I would never want to hurt them. I just don't want my mouth to get me to a place that I can't return from. Not only that, but I get turnt up really quick. I haven't quite mastered getting that under control. Things can go left really quick and I have a hard time letting it go because I constantly replay the situation in my head, and then I get mad all over again.
I cringe when things get tense because I know where they can go for me. Of course, I know when I need to have a serious conversation with somebody and of course nobody likes conflict. In my heart, I want to forgive them afterwards, but if I feel some type of way about even being approached or whatever happened in the first place, I'm not going to. It's like in the back of my mind I'll always be like "I can't believe she tried me like," even if it's way later.
I'm not really sure how to overcome this. The situation itself doesn't scare me. It's the potential of it getting bad that scares me. I just want everybody to get along.
This month has given me the chance to really get to know Briana. I've spent a lot of time soul searching and figuring out what I want. I literally have been riding around in silence. It's just me and my thoughts. In that, I've discovered something: I don't like conflict with people I care about. I don't like any tense energy. I'm afraid of what could come out of my mouth in that type of environment especially because I am known to say things without thinking twice about it. Whatever the thought is...it comes out. I don't stop and collect bail; I just go. I just don't want my mouth to get me to a place that I can't return.I know how hurtful the things I can say can be to the people I care about and I would never want to hurt them. I just don't want my mouth to get me to a place that I can't return from. Not only that, but I get turnt up really quick. I haven't quite mastered getting that under control. Things can go left really quick and I have a hard time letting it go because I constantly replay the situation in my head, and then I get mad all over again.
I cringe when things get tense because I know where they can go for me. Of course, I know when I need to have a serious conversation with somebody and of course nobody likes conflict. In my heart, I want to forgive them afterwards, but if I feel some type of way about even being approached or whatever happened in the first place, I'm not going to. It's like in the back of my mind I'll always be like "I can't believe she tried me like," even if it's way later.
I'm not really sure how to overcome this. The situation itself doesn't scare me. It's the potential of it getting bad that scares me. I just want everybody to get along.
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