365 Questions--January 14
A mistake that made you grow
The worst thing I could ever do is have expectations for people. Expectations will leave you more hurt than anything ever will. When people are a part of your life, whether you admit it or not, you expect them the behave a certain way, and you hold them to a standard. I'm not saying you shouldn't have standards. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that having standards and not sharing them with the person you're applying them to will get your feelings hurt. I had to learn that everything in life is subjective. If you ask someone to define love, friendship, success, or anything broad like that you'll get a million and one different answers. Everyone has their own idea of what these things should really be like.
For a long time, I felt like if me and someone were friends then we should agree on what friendship is, but that's not true. That's not always the reason me and that person became friends. We might've became friends because we like the same music or we go to the same spots or we have class together. It could be anything. I would get so upset when people would do something negative that didn't align with my expectations for them. Like a few years ago, I had someone very close to me speak to someone I was not close with about my relationship with my boyfriend at the time. I felt very violated because I felt like if you are truly my friend like you say you are 1: you know that I'm a very private person and letter B: I'm very protective of the people in my life, especially that boyfriend. So for you to know that and still do what you did, oh I'm most definitely cutting you off. You're not being what I defined being a friend as, but maybe that's what she thought a friend was.
When I finally realized everybody doesn't think about things the way I do, it really made me wake up. It helped me a lot in my relationships with people, including my current relationship. Even though we've known each other about half my life, there's a lot we don't know about each other because we haven't dealt with each other in this way before. To me, showing someone I love them is giving them a lot of attention because I like a lot attention from them. He's not like that. He is more like the type to be there no matter what. That's important to me to, but if you call me after a certain time I might not answer. It's not because I don't care; it's because I sleep hard when I'm tired 😂😂
"Paint a picture and show the deaf what it's like to listen
And speak the words and tell a blind man what he missing"
-J. Cole
The worst thing I could ever do is have expectations for people. Expectations will leave you more hurt than anything ever will. When people are a part of your life, whether you admit it or not, you expect them the behave a certain way, and you hold them to a standard. I'm not saying you shouldn't have standards. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that having standards and not sharing them with the person you're applying them to will get your feelings hurt. I had to learn that everything in life is subjective. If you ask someone to define love, friendship, success, or anything broad like that you'll get a million and one different answers. Everyone has their own idea of what these things should really be like.
For a long time, I felt like if me and someone were friends then we should agree on what friendship is, but that's not true. That's not always the reason me and that person became friends. We might've became friends because we like the same music or we go to the same spots or we have class together. It could be anything. I would get so upset when people would do something negative that didn't align with my expectations for them. Like a few years ago, I had someone very close to me speak to someone I was not close with about my relationship with my boyfriend at the time. I felt very violated because I felt like if you are truly my friend like you say you are 1: you know that I'm a very private person and letter B: I'm very protective of the people in my life, especially that boyfriend. So for you to know that and still do what you did, oh I'm most definitely cutting you off. You're not being what I defined being a friend as, but maybe that's what she thought a friend was.
When I finally realized everybody doesn't think about things the way I do, it really made me wake up. It helped me a lot in my relationships with people, including my current relationship. Even though we've known each other about half my life, there's a lot we don't know about each other because we haven't dealt with each other in this way before. To me, showing someone I love them is giving them a lot of attention because I like a lot attention from them. He's not like that. He is more like the type to be there no matter what. That's important to me to, but if you call me after a certain time I might not answer. It's not because I don't care; it's because I sleep hard when I'm tired 😂😂
"Paint a picture and show the deaf what it's like to listen
And speak the words and tell a blind man what he missing"
-J. Cole
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