The Transformation--I'm Not the Same
So just a heads up before we get started--I'm about to let yall into one of the darkest places I've ever been in. It's not the absolute darkest, but it's up there on my list of life experiences in this devotional. We just went through the month of August, and honey honey if your month was anything like mine....it was like new everything.
NEW mindset
NEW beginnings
NEW fire
NEW jobs
NEW location
NEW faith
It's just been a lot, but God spoke to me today (August 23rd) and said it was all a transformation. He took me to 2 different references.
First, He took me to Genesis 32
Genesis 32:22-30 New Living Translation (NLT)
Jacob Wrestles with God
22 During the night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two servant wives, and his eleven sons and crossed the Jabbok River with them. 23 After taking them to the other side, he sent over all his possessions.
24 This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break. 25 When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!”
But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
27 “What is your name?” the man asked.
He replied, “Jacob.”
28 “Your name will no longer be Jacob,” the man told him. “From now on you will be called Israel,[a] because you have fought with God and with men and have won.”
29 “Please tell me your name,” Jacob said.
“Why do you want to know my name?” the man replied. Then he blessed Jacob there.
30 Jacob named the place Peniel (which means “face of God”), for he said, “I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been spared.”
In this text, Jacob is wrestling with a man. Some theologists believe he's wrestling with an angel. Others believe he's wrestling with who he was. According to this version of the Bible, it was God. I believe it was all of the above. Why? Because to say that he is wrestling with who he was means that something got on the inside of him to make him change, which would be God. Angels come from God. I believe the angel was wrestling with Jacob to get the old Jacob out. The old Jacob couldn't go into the newness with Israel.
For me, I fought a lot with my identity. I knew who Briana had been for the last 26 years. Literally, the majority of the fight was going on up until my birthday. I could literally hear God saying "You cannot enter the next year of your life with this old stuff," and He began to show me who I am becoming. I would be lying if I said it didn't shake me up. But when I saw it, it was like I felt like it couldn't be me even though I could clearly see it was me because I knew where I had been and what all I have done.
I believe that's why Jacob fought so hard. He knew how he tricked his father out of his brother's birthright. He knew his brother probably hated him. But God can still take all those dirty things and make something out of it.
2 Corinthians 5:17 New Living Translation (NLT)
17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
God created mankind with the same thing stars are made out of: dust and gas. When everything is God's hands, there are no limits on what He can do.
Even though He can do it, we have a hard time receiving it because we don't see us the way He sees us. I believe God gave Jacob a new name for that reason. Jacob did all those things, but Israel is someone new. He frequently changes people's names when He creates them anew. It's like an alter ego.
It was in that moment that Jacob began to transform and enter a metamorphosis, like a caterpillar changing to a butterfly. The process is called holometabolism. There's something special about this process.
First of all, the change happens in a hidden place. The cocoon often is camouflaged to protect the caterpillar. There are times where God will hide you. He isolates you so he can deal you. So you have to take a backseat sometimes. You can't stay on that platform all the time. There are times that God will hide you so that He can work on you. Isaiah 49:2 says that "He hid me in the shadow of His hand. I am like a sharp arrow in his quiver." It is in this hidden place that he strengthens you.
Secondly, cocoons are small and dark. They appear harmless. The text I read said, "The cocoon appear to be a resting place, but in fact there is no resting going on." See, Jacob was supposed to be sleeping. However, he was fighting with a man. When you're going through a transformation, you'll spend many nights up crying and praying, praying and crying. When you're transforming, there'll be times you're fighting yourself, but greater is He that is within me than he that is of the world.
Thirdly, it is in the cocoon that the caterpillar digests itself from the inside out. The same juices the caterpillar digested as a larva are the same juices that got down on the inside are the same ones that initiate the transformation. You got the juice! You've been getting word. You've been continually poured into. That word is transforming your life. It's changing the trajectory of your life. It's redefining you.
Jacob was no longer Jacob. He was Israel. He had to be broken to be made new. Your cocoon is made to break you. You have to break old habits. Break old ways of thinking. Break the way you speak. It's going to hurt you. Nothing about change is easy. That's why Jacob was limping because the transformation hurt him.
What we fail to realize is: what hurts you controls you. I'm saying all facts. Straight truths. You ever been in a bad relationship and it hurt you. It hurt you to the point that you go into every relationship you get in after that, you have a chip on your shoulder. Why? Because that experience controls you. God literally hurt Jacob.
But the difference between God and the world is that God works everything out for your good. Yeah, He allowed you to be hurt so that you can strengthen your relationship with Him. If He didn't put you in that position, would you still seek relationship? The world will hurt you, but it has no good intention for you.
Romans 8:6 New Living Translation (NLT)
6 So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.
Yeah God hurt you, but He's leading you to peace. I can remember when I first moved back to Augusta back in 2016. I was so hurt. I was so disappointed and angry with God for allowing that situation to happen the way it did. He was trying to change me. I couldn't stay the same girl. I'm not that same girl. I had to become who God wanted me to be. And I will evolve unapologetically for the rest of my life.
Ephesians 4:22-24 New Living Translation (NLT)
22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
So you have to fight for your life. Becoming Israel put Jacob in the fight of his life. It identified who he was. The thing that most people overlook is the fact that who you want to be and who God want you to be don't always align. So the misalignment is what causes the fight. Misalignment always causes the fight. The misalignment between who you currently are and who you were will cause a fight.
Galatians 5:16-17 New Living Translation (NLT)
Living by the Spirit’s Power
16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.
Not everything can go with you into your dimension the way you want it to. That's why you have to be broken.
1 Peter 2:11 New Living Translation (NLT)
11 Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls.
Yes, greater is He that is within me than he that is of the world. However, we are not to yield to temptation. So why would you invite temptation in, and you haven't even gotten your strength on point? By the time your strength is there, you don't even want to be around your temptation anyway. Because you know it will cause a war. Romans 7:18 New Living Translation (NLT)
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] I want to do what is right, but I can’t.
Take me for example. I struggled with my self esteem my entire life. I was confident in what I am capable of achieving, but when I looked in the mirror, I didn't like what I saw. I didn't think who I was looking at was worth anything. So it took me through a cycle of bad relationships. But then there was that one that challenged me to change. When I decided to change, God started to pour into me why I had to go through that. He said "You have to write the books. You have to do the program for young girls. You have to do the events because I said so and I have called you to do it."
There are some things that we've been through that we feel like doesn't have any use. For example, I went to a fine arts school where I danced, like dance dance. I don't dance anymore so I felt like the talent was useless. But God said "nothing that I put in you is useless."
Ecclesiastes 3:1 New Living Translation (NLT)
A Time for Everything
3 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
a time for every activity under heaven.
God is able to to take anything and transform it into something. You are no longer the same. You have transformed.
Comments
Post a Comment