365 Questions--September 10
Name 3 times in your life when the Lord was your strength and your shield
God has been my strength and my portion every day of my life. Even if I didn't know He was there, He definitely was there.
The first thing that I think of is when I was a teenager, I had a very emotionally taxing childhood. I tried to kill myself on more than one occasion, but for whatever reason, it just didn't work. There were times I felt like I would never get along with my immediate family. My mom and I went at it. I didn't like the way she talked to me so I would say what I wanted to say to her. I couldn't understand why I was the child she spoke to that way. I remember being maybe 15 or 16 and I literally heard God speaking to me. It scared me so bad because I had never experienced anything like that before. I had never heard God speak to me, and the church that I went to never discussed actually hearing God speaking to you.
The next thing I think of is when my granddaddy died. That was like losing my father. That summer was absolute chaos. I literally was going a funeral every other week. As a matter of fact, my grandfather and my aunt died 10 days apart. I just couldn't understand why it was happening to me of all people. My whole world felt shattered. The crazy thing is I felt just as chaotic as my world was. I'm a different type of griever. I'm sad on the inside, but that comes out as anger and irritation. I was absolutely heartbroken that my granddaddy was gone, but I only cried from what I can remember on 3 different occasions: when he died, at the funeral, and the day after the funeral. After that it was like I was the biggest you know what. I snapped at everybody. Me and my ex went at it bad. It's always bad when we get into it even now, but that time it was really really bad. I couldn't understand why God would allow something like that to happen. Nevertheless, He was there and He strengthened me.
The last time I would have to say is when I was diagnosed with PCOS. That year long journey I had was the darkest time of my life. My life as I knew it had ended. Everything that seemed so easy and that I took for granted was done. Something as simple as being able to pay all of my bills on time and not have to scrape together money was over. Having good insurance that covered everything with little to no cost was over. School being covered at no cost to me was over. I won't say that I wasn't grateful to be able to do those things when I could. It's just that I appreciate it so much more now that I don't and can't do those things. I had to uproot my life and nothing but God could keep me.
God has been my strength and my portion every day of my life. Even if I didn't know He was there, He definitely was there.
The first thing that I think of is when I was a teenager, I had a very emotionally taxing childhood. I tried to kill myself on more than one occasion, but for whatever reason, it just didn't work. There were times I felt like I would never get along with my immediate family. My mom and I went at it. I didn't like the way she talked to me so I would say what I wanted to say to her. I couldn't understand why I was the child she spoke to that way. I remember being maybe 15 or 16 and I literally heard God speaking to me. It scared me so bad because I had never experienced anything like that before. I had never heard God speak to me, and the church that I went to never discussed actually hearing God speaking to you.
The next thing I think of is when my granddaddy died. That was like losing my father. That summer was absolute chaos. I literally was going a funeral every other week. As a matter of fact, my grandfather and my aunt died 10 days apart. I just couldn't understand why it was happening to me of all people. My whole world felt shattered. The crazy thing is I felt just as chaotic as my world was. I'm a different type of griever. I'm sad on the inside, but that comes out as anger and irritation. I was absolutely heartbroken that my granddaddy was gone, but I only cried from what I can remember on 3 different occasions: when he died, at the funeral, and the day after the funeral. After that it was like I was the biggest you know what. I snapped at everybody. Me and my ex went at it bad. It's always bad when we get into it even now, but that time it was really really bad. I couldn't understand why God would allow something like that to happen. Nevertheless, He was there and He strengthened me.
The last time I would have to say is when I was diagnosed with PCOS. That year long journey I had was the darkest time of my life. My life as I knew it had ended. Everything that seemed so easy and that I took for granted was done. Something as simple as being able to pay all of my bills on time and not have to scrape together money was over. Having good insurance that covered everything with little to no cost was over. School being covered at no cost to me was over. I won't say that I wasn't grateful to be able to do those things when I could. It's just that I appreciate it so much more now that I don't and can't do those things. I had to uproot my life and nothing but God could keep me.
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