365 Questions--August 7

What are the three most important things that I learned this year?

1.     Don’t take life for granted—When I think of being 25 (I said that like I’ve been 26 forever lol) I immediately go to my grandparents. We buried my grandfather the day before my 25^thbirthday, which was his birthday. I never really knew him. He was my dad’s father, and I was allowed to have a relationship with him. Out of respect for my dad, I never reached out to him. When he died, I resented my father for making me miss out on the only grandparent I would’ve had on his side. His mother died before I was born. I felt like it was the most selfish thing my dad had ever done. 

As my 25^thyear was coming to an end, my grandmother had a series of strokes. Right before that happened, my grandma and I had a falling out over something she had said about me to my immediate family. The thing about me is I can wipe my hands clean of someone without a second thought if they rub me the wrong way, family included. My grandmother and I made up on a Friday. The next day, I had to rush her to the hospital because my cousin believed she was having a stroke because her speech was slurring while they were on the phone. Nobody else that lived here was answering the phone so I had to do it. We ended up taking my grandmother to the hospital 2 days in a row for the same thing, and each time, the hospital sent her home saying she wasn’t having a stroke. 

A week later, while my cousin was visiting, my grandmother woke up and couldn’t even stand up because her right side was that week. I thank God that somebody was there with her because she lives by herself. There’s no telling what would’ve happened if somebody wasn’t there. 

2.     Let it go—A couple posts ago I was talking about how I was rediscovering who I am. In that process I’ve been able to unveil some of my deepest hurt. Instead of walking by faith, I was moving in gear of something like that ever happening to me again. It got to the point where everything I was doing just to survive, but I failed to acknowledge that I need God to survive. God can handle it all. Trying to carry all that stuff myself would kill me.

A couple months ago I went to Summit 21 and I heard Myliek Teele speak about limitless living. She said something that really hit me at that because of what I was going through. Essentially, what she said was let people go if they want to leave your life. Holding onto something can be more painful than letting it go. I wholeheartedly believe that. This was important to me because I’m a fighter. I’ve said this time and time again. I fought for everything that I have now, and I tend to fight to keep people in my life, but sometimes those people have to go because they mean me no good. 

3.     Pay attention—I wrote a Let’s Talk Saturday post about this. I think it was about Jennifer on Basketball Wives. Anyway, you have to pay attention to reality. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in what’s going on that we don’t acknowledge some things. I read a post from T.D. Jakes a couple days ago that said “When we choose not to see, it’s willful blindness.” You can’t be upset about something that you caused by not paying attention to something that was right in front of your face.