365 Questions--August 24

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If you could say anything to your teenage self, what would it be?

I would have to tell her to slow down. I was so ready to grow up and get out the house that I didn't enjoy life. Everything I did was for the future. I didn't think enough of the right now. I worked my butt off in high school. It was rare that ever took a break. I mean I would party and then back to the grind. I hated the home that I grew up in so much that I was doing everything that I could to get out and never come back. I never took being home for granted.I just wanted to be on my own. Like, I look back at college and high school and wish I would've made more of it. I mean it's good to be about your business, but everyone needs down time. 

Even in relationships, I needed to slow down. I think back then, I looked at relationships as a way out. I thought that if I met the right person soon enough and get married, I would never have to go back to the place that caused me so much hurt. From the time I started really really dating, I dated with every intention of marrying. There's nothing wrong with that. I think that if you can't see yourself with someone long term, then why even date them like that or be in a relationship? However, I viewed every relationship as a way out. Every boyfriend I ever had was my venting space. I had so much going on that I kept balled up, and every man I've ever been with found that out. I would gladly do the same thing for them, but it was like as soon as they did that for me, I would jump into the deep end. I just wanted somebody to love me the same way I loved them. My troubled soul would attract other troubled souls, and it was always bad. 

Slow down baby
ya going to fast.
You got your hands in the air
With your Feet on the gas.
You 'bout to wreck your future,
Run from your past.
You need to slow down before you go down baby.

--India.Arie