365 Questions--August 22

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How have you changed from the person you were 5 years ago?

5 years ago almost to the day. 5 years ago, I was in a place of desperation. Graduation was quickly approaching, and my plan for my life was so off track. By that time, I was planning to be with someone long enough that we could get married right after I graduated with my masters, and I was going to have a baby right after that. I had it all planned out, but it was not going right. The guy that I just knew I was supposed to marry just fell off. There was nothing bad that happened. He just disappeared. So when that happened, I was willing to tolerate almost anything from any man in my life just for the sake of having somewhere there. At this time in my life, I was content with knowingly being a man's side chick, but I didn't care. I was literally doing any and every thing to keep this one particular guy in my life. It was crazy. My best friends and I were having a conversation about him the other night, and I told them I intentionally keep those messages from him. It's not because I want to reminisce on the good times. It's too remind me of how stuck on stupid I was and to not go back to that place. Within in the last few months, I have learned to love myself more than anybody else. I have to be able to go for broke to love myself the same way I would for a man. 

On the other side, this time in my life was the most turnt up, lit, whatever you wanna call it, year of my life. I made so many memories with my friends in that year alone. Back then I was a little too turn up sometimes. I was a ticking time bomb. Anybody who tried me was gon catch all this smoke without a second thought. I wasn't gong to pause for the cause, no stopping and collect $200, just go. I was good for pulling up on somebody and acting a plum fool. Granted, it took me a while to get to that point, but once I was there, there was no going back. All or nothing. If I was going to go to jai, I was going to make it worthwhile. I'm glad I matured just a little bit. People can still get it if they try me bad enough, but I'm wiser in my approach. I don't have to be bout (yes, bout) to go to jail over everybody.