365 Questions--August 16

What three adjectives best describe this year?

Trying—Trying is honestly an understatement. Being at a job that I absolutely hated was the most frustrating. Knowing that I qualified for a position much greater than that one was the one thing that had me in tears most of he time. I knew I wasn’t meant to struggle the way I was. I didn’t spend thousands of dollars on my education to barely be making it. Nobody was calling me back for interviews because “I didn’t qualify.” I have no idea how they came to that conclusion, but that’s what they said. On top of that, things happening in my personal life…being accused of things I didn’t do and being lied on. It was to the point that I was literally walking around with my fists balled up all the time. 

Clarifying—As trying and frustrating as this year was, it frustrated my purpose even more. I t gave me clarity on why I was going through those things over and over and over. My faith only went as far as I could see. I only trusted God to do just a little bit. I understand that God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ask or think, but I didn’t trust Him to do that. I decided to step out on faith and quit my job. It was scary. I’m so used to being able to take care of myself, and to literally have to trust God with everything that I have. When I tell yall, God was showing out?!? Before I had even told my parents that I quit my job, money was just dropping into my bank account and I had no idea where it was coming from. It was after I had received my last check and before I had told my parents. I heard God say “If you trust me, I will take care of you.” He did just that. I was given clarity in who and whose I am, in what God was saying to me, and where I was going. 

Blossoming—Year 25 allowed me to grow so much. I stepped out of my comfort zone. I’m really, really shy. On my 25^thbirthday, we had a testimonial service at my church and my pastor specifically asked me to tell my story of healing.  That’s not me to do that. I thank God out loud, but nobody would ever know why. It was the first time I had ever shared my story. It was the first time I had actually spoken about that particular situation. I started becoming more social and going to events by myself. I’ve also become friendlier at church. I’m growing into the woman I’ve always wanted to be.