365 Questions--August 15

What could I have done to make this year better?

I should’ve followed my intuition. A woman’s intuition is a very powerful thing. Honestly, my intuition is never wrong. Whether or not I decided to follow it is a different story. A lot of times my gut will tell me something and I’ll just write it off as me being crazy or insecure when all the while I was right. 

Why do I think I’m insecure or crazy? I am the person that overanalyzes everything. Like I can take something somebody said and break it down and take the one statement that will completely discredit them and keep it in the back of my mind. I’ve always been that way. Some of the things that I’ve discovered have been the bane of my existence. They are the very things that have made me question everyone around me. 

Maybe it’s not that I’m crazy or insecure. Now that I think about it, it’s fear. I’m afraid that what I know is happening will result in losing someone in my life that I actually care about. Then that spirals into me being mad at myself for ever trusting them in the first place, which then turns into me being cold to any new person that comes my way. It’s a cycle. Now that I’m aware of it, I have to stop it.