365 Questions--February 20

A moment you will always remember

If you read the post from earlier today then you are somewhat aware of this moment. A week and a half ago I went to Atlanta for the weekend. I live about 2 hours away from Atlanta, so going there for the weekend is no big deal to me. With everything going on right now, I knew that I needed that break, but I had no idea the magnitude of the need was as big as it was. Like I've said before, I go through life and just try to make it through. I don't take the time to heal or be present in my actual feelings. I don't get a lot of breaks in life; I just go without. 

During this particular trip to Atlanta, I knew that I would be meeting up with my best friends, Tresa and Jazz. I had not seen Tresa in almost 7 years, and I knew I was going to be very emotional because she is literally the most sincere and caring person I have ever met. She gives tough love, which is what I need the majority of the time. I hadn't seen Jazz in about 6 months, and I was super geeked because she was moving back to Georgia for the time being. Needless to say, I was excited to see the both of them. 

There was so much that happened emotionally for me that weekend. Even before I got on the road, things were still happening. It was to the point that I rode the entire trip in silence. No music, not talking on the phone, literally nothing. I just cried and cried because I know that I need a turnaround in my life; I've just been waiting for ever for it to happen. 

I broke down while we were out. We were talking about going bowling, and by this time I knew that I had just enough money to get home, meaning bowling was out the question for me. Jazz offered to give me gas money, and I broke. I had to dismiss myself for a while to get myself together. I know they were probably sitting at the table thinking "It's just bowling..." but for me it was bigger than that. I don't get a lot of help in life. I have parents I could go to, but I'd rather not. I'm 25. I shouldn't have to keep going to my parents. So when this happened, I was really overwhelmed and grateful to have such great friends. 

When I got back to Jazz's house, Tresa text me while Jazz was in the shower, and I broke. It happened again. Sometimes I feel so alone in everything that I go through. Yeah I have friends and family, but when I go home, it's just me and that's when everything happens. But that unsolicited message from Tresa reassured me that God hears me. 

It wasn't that she told me He hears me. I literally got everything that I needed on that trip. I got the mental break that I had been needing for quite some time. Even things that I desired, like clothes, besets, curtains and household items were given to me without me even having to ask. In that moment, I realized God never fails, and He never forgets about me. 

Why should I worry, why should I fret Look at all the ways he's made And every promise kept. I look to the hills from which cometh my help
--Hezekiah Walker